Failure is OK

I get scared of failure. A lot of people do. Lately I've felt hesitant and even comfortable with the way things are. What this has led to is a feeling of nothingness.  Without a doubt nothingness is worse than joy and happiness, but I would argue that nothingness is also worse than pain and sadness. 

Nothingness is lifeless. I want to challenge myself to take more risks. To put myself out there. Yeah, my life is good, but I want to feel that passion and energy again. If I fail, that's OK. Simply floating just won't suffice. 

Greener Grass in the Concrete Jungle

When I was in my early 20's, a wise man told me, "No matter how hard you try, someone's always gonna have a faster car and you're always gonna think you can have a hotter girlfriend."

It wasn't until recently that I understood what he meant.  So often in life I've worried about what other people. Now I realize that it's all bullshit.

Life doesn't have to be complicated. Find what makes YOU happy and stick with it.

It's no excuse, but I'm angry and I'm being an asshole because I miss my friend and there's nothing I can do to bring him back.

Half of My Heart

I'm always crying to John Mayer. More on this later...

My New 4HB

If I was as dedicated to saving money as I am to the 4HB lifestyle, I'd be OK. The cliche, "It's not how much you make, but how much you save" is pretty spot on for a lowly public employee like myself.

Fuck the Burbs

I'm a big fan of city living. It's exciting and fast paced. There's culture. There's diversity. There's history.

I always thought that I'd end up living in the suburbs just 'cause that's what everyone else does. As I get older, I kind of resent the damn suburbs and am fairly sure it's not what I want.

In fact, I'd rather live in the country or on a vineyard than in a manufactured community.

The only appeal the burbs has on me is space (which the country has to offer). Garage & yard space ain't easy to come by in the city unless you're rich (which I'm not).

Why be close to the city when you can be IN it? If I'm gonna be away, it's gonna be FAR, FAR away.

What up, Healdsburg?!

Don't Look Back

The year was 2008. 196lbs. 36 inch waist. I ate and drank whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to. Not to brag or get too graphic, but I also slept with a lot of chicks.

Pretty awesome, right? Wrong.

At the time I thought I was having fun. As I reflect on this time period, I see a young man that gave up and let himself go. Did all that eating, dr

inking and sex really make me happy?

Nope. I was just low on self-esteem and those things were a quick fix to make myself feel better.

4HB saved my fuckin' life.

I'm so much more comfortable with myself. I'm pretty healthy, have a decent job, the best of friends and family...what a life. If the worst thing in my life is me living in San Francisco and not New York, then shit...I guess I'm a lucky bastard.

All I know is that I'm gonna try my hardest to keep this shit going. Sure, I'm not getting down as much (if at all) or drinking like a fish and eating like Joey Chestnut. That doesn't do it for me anymore. Maybe I've grown. I know I've changed. This lifestyle has made me happier than I've ever been and most importantly, I fell in love again...with myself.