Balls

You don't have to be a male to have 'em. It's courage. Fortitude. Lately, I haven't shown much of it. I am a little buzzed right now after having to deal with some personal stuff on top of a long day at work. All I have to say is, just tell it how it is. Be a straight shooter. Grab life by the nuts and let the chips fall where they may. That was like 30 cliches in one paragraph, but fuck it. It's the only way to live. And you'll be able to sleep at night.

Responsible

It's weird. I'm in my late 20's and I feel like I'm more responsible than a majority of people in my life (friends, family, colleagues). No debt. No unplanned children. No arrests. No substance abuse problems or sex addiction. Steady income. Health insurance. A quarter of my take home pay ALWAYS set aside for retirement each month. If I said I wasn't trying to brag, I'd be lying because why blog if you're not trying to show off a little? Sure I'll occasionally get trashed and send inappropriate texts hot 22 year old women every now then but when it's all said and done, I've done my parents proud by flying under the radar. Boring, I know. But totally worth it.

You see, accidents and unexpected things come up. Life happens. I dig that. At the same time, I think people do stupid shit and have to deal with the consequences of not being responsible. Again, I've said before that I'm not the best person to look at as far as morals are concerned. All I'm trying to say is that I'm tired of seeing people get into shit that they can't dig themselves out of. I mean, what the fuck are you thinking?!

If I'm ever lucky enough to get married and have kids, I'm going to openly talk about safe sex and birth control. I'm going to be bold enough to say to my daughter, weed is ok, coke is NOT ok. Or: taking a cab is expensive, but not as expensive as a DUI. Our biggest problem in this country is avoiding real societal issues and concerns instead of addressing them. Avoiding awkward situations is cowardly and leads to disaster.

I have a close friend who I vent to about stuff like this. Perhaps it's just her frustrated about me pissin' and moanin' all the time, but she always tells me, "Man, you're just lucky you're not caught up in stuff like that." I lovingly reply:

Naw, bitch. I'm just smart.
(Knock on Wood)

Man, I Love Sports!

It’s a personality flaw, I guess. Most people don’t get it. It’s not just an escape for me. I am in true bliss when watching teams I love live and in person. Losses are devastating (ex. last weekend) and wins get you higher than the best chronic. The emotions you feel are very similar to those you feel in a romantic relationship. Don't deny it. When I’m at Giants, Warriors, 49er or Cal games, there's nowhere I'd rather be (especially if I'm with loved ones at the event).

I think my moment of Zen came yesterday when I was in the Candlestick parking lot in the middle of the day on a Monday before the game. I took a half day at work and there I was, sitting in my camping chair with ribs, chicken and sausage on my plate and an ice cold beer in my hand. What a life!

Making Things Right

To quote from the song "Faithful" by the great Raphael Saadiq, "I've been a cheater ever since I was twelve years old." No truer words have ever been spoken...about me. I personally feel all the bad things I've done have put a damper on the positive contributions I've made on peoples lives.

One lesson my father taught me was to not blame others and take responsibility for your actions. For a long time, I ignored this advice. What can I say? I'm a stubborn guy and never really like it when anyone gives me advice. I used to think, no harm, no foul. Or, to quote John Legend: "She don't have to know."

As I grow older, I realize that there are REAL consequences to your actions and that you can't just do whatever the fuck you want. At this point, I know there are things I can't take back and things I have done to friends, family, colleagues and significant others that can't be forgiven but I'll try my best to work to make things right. I may never get there but that stubborn part in me won't stop me from trying.

I guess this post came to mind after meeting up with a friend recently that I really screwed things up with several years ago. In a lot of ways, we've both changed since the falling out. She's doing great and her life is on track. In the present, I'm really happy with the type of person I've been in 2010. At first, things were really awkward. She was stand-offish in body language and conversation. I knew I had address what was on both our minds. A sincere apology from me was all that was needed to mend that friendship. From there, it's like we never missed a beat. I'm really happy it worked out because I hate losing friends, especially kind hearted, fun loving people like her.

I don't think this approach would work with everyone in every situation but it was clear, a huge weight was taken off of my shoulders and more importantly hers.

I say this from the bottom of my heart: Congratulations. I am so happy for you :)

Weighing on My Mind

I was born and raised in the Bay Area. Hell, I’ve lived here my whole life. The closest I ever came to leaving was college, but when you’re accepted to world’s greatest university, how can you say no? I’m not sure if I’ll ever have the guts to leave. There are many things that keep me tied down to San Francisco. The most important: my family. Right now, I live 15 minutes away from my mom and dad and a half hour from my little sister. I also have a great job that I enjoy. I get paid decently, can put money in the bank and am doing something good for this world. After travelling throughout the United States confirmed in my mind that SF is without a doubt one of the best cities on earth. Plus, let’s not forget that my favorite sports teams are all here. Still, I can’t help but think about what else is out there.

Los Angeles and New York are atop my list of places to live. LA is great because visiting my mom and dad is really easy: either a six hour drive or a forty minute flight home. I also have family down south and a propensity for sexy, vain, superficial women. New York is my second favorite place in the world right behind San Francisco. I had visited a couple times before but my visit last summer really made me fall in love. Some of my favorite people are in New York and there’s always excitement surrounding the city that never sleeps.

The truth of the matter is that I need a fresh start. I want to walk away from things (e.g. people I dislike, bad personal decisions I’ve made and the same old shit) . I want to leave my comfort zone. I want to become truly independent and liberated. I’ve leaned on my family and best friends for a long time and I feel like I’m treading water here in the Bay—wasting time.

I may not ever leave San Francisco, but for now, dreaming about it gives me a glimmer of hope. As Tupac once said, “Don’t shed a tear, ‘cause, mama I ain’t happy here.”

No Class

And no, the title does not refer to my behavior during 2008. This Fall, my Monday and Wednesday late mornings and early afternoons are spent in video production class. There was no class today because our professor is out of town. It was a bummer not being able to go because I really look forward to going each week because it’s fun as hell and it’s an hour and a half escape from work.

I can’t wait ‘til Wednesday!

Laughter

I LOVE laughing. People who make me laugh are awesome!!! It's one of the best feelings anyone can experience. I'd be content laughing my life away to be quite honest. Keep it coming, friends. Keep it coming :)

Temper Tantrum

I can't stand people with bad tempers. It's super annoying and borderline insane. Comparing this behavior to that of animals or children is would do injustice to animals and kids. Grown ass adults should not have to yell and/or get violent--especially in public.

When someone goes apeshit on me, I've learned that confrontation is what they want. They won't get it. I've mastered the art of ignoring such behavior. I'm a reasonable guy. I'll talk to anybody if they're calm and respectful.

10/01/10

The one month countdown starts NOW!