You Bastard!

Based on a true story (taken from ______'s journal):

August 3, 2006

Something horrible and amazing just happened to me at the grocery store today. I was standing in line only to find that the checker was a girl I used to mess around with in college. Let's just say that things didn't end well...mainly because I stopped calling her after the fifth time we had sex (she was really bad) . I had a good reason--I fell in love with the woman of my dreams and now we're happily married with two beautiful kids. I have a great life. Anyway, we made awkward eye contact and it was too late for me to change lines. Plus, I would've looked like an even bigger dick if I left.

The "amazing" news, you ask? The woman ahead of me in line (totally hot by the way) was breastfeeding her daughter. What an experience!

Ciao!

Moral of the story: NEVER, EVER keep a journal or blog, electronic or otherwise that talks about things that are that personal (sexually incriminating). It will only get you in trouble and all your friends will laugh at you. Getting divorced is rough...sorry, buddy!